Yoga for Hot Sex // Relaxation for Pleasure and Orgasm

Join me for 2 special mini-workshops at Self Serve Sexuality Resource Center!


Wed Oct 30, 2013: YOGA FOR HOT SEX


Both classes are 7:30-9pm at the Self Serve Store in Nob Hill, Albuquerque. Preregister HERE or call 505-265-5815.

avery blissed....

Yoga practice can create access to your ability to feel what is happening in the body, strengthen your confidence in your body/ mind ability, balance hormones, build awareness, tone, and ability to relax the pelvic floor muscles and pelvic & abdominal organs, increase circulation and oxygen to various vital systems, including the endocrine and sexual/ reproductive systems, neutralize the nervous system, which enables increase of both mental/ physical/ emotional relaxation (parasympathetic nervous system response) and simultaneously, sexual excitement/ tension (sympathetic nervous system response), build emotional stability, give insight to what and where are your “edges,” increase feelings of vitality, vigor, and enthusiasm to experience new things, and help support feelings of gratitude, selflove, compassion, and connection, and creativity.

Guiding Principles

Relaxation opens the gateway to pleasure and orgasm.

Mental Distraction takes us away from our bodily awareness, out of the present moment, and dilutes the intensity and availability of feeling turned on/ pleasure, and challenges out ability to connect with intuition, and our partner(s). The mind habitually will wander; Focus/ Awareness takes practice. Be compassionate with yourself and, as possible, be entertained by the mind, rather than get critical/ frustrated with it.

Sound (especially when long and low toned) helps release the throat/pelvic floor, lengthens exhalation and therefore quiets the nervous system, channels focus/ energy, intensifies pleasure sensations, helps release endorphins, and can assist orgasmic release. Also great for claiming space and giving positive feedback to partners!

Playful Curiosity is a great way to deepen into sexual discovery. Don’t confuse Sincerity with Seriousness. Let what feels good and fun guide you. Keep shifting back into the body’s feedback loop and away from the narrative of the mind.

Stability and Freedom are 2 sides of 1 coin. The more we feel stable, safe, organized, and grounded, the more we can truly let go, get vulnerable, expand, and get ecstatic.

~Stabilize with:

~ Presence building practices, Yoga practice, and physical support (inside: strength, body awareness. outside: props, pillows, walls…)

~ Pelvic Floor Work: healthy tone, awareness and strength

~ Femur grounding to support gentle release of the psoas, pelvic organs, and pelvic floor muscles.

~ Alignment (in our bodies, as well as with our partners)

~ Slowing down to feel what is there.

~ Good, Clear Boundaries and Agreements

Ahisma: Non violence Santosha: Contentment

Bramacharya: Respectful, Healthy Utilization of Sexual Energy

Svadyaya: Self Study (internal learning) Samadhi: Total Freedom/ Bliss/ Self Realization

(from Yamas & Niyamas, the foundations of yoga: in our minds, bodies, and with others)

Exploring embodied sexuality may bring up fears or triggers, yet the very techniques of presence, breath, and feeling through what is there, can be effective ways to release layers of tension, trauma, heavy emotionality, or resistance.

photo (1)
Here is a drawing I created for the class. Enjoy!
#yogaforhotsex #yoga #queeryoga #averykalapa

Fall News: Partner Yoga and Some New Classes!

Emily and I will be teaching a fun, playful, yummy Partner Yoga Workshop Saturday, Oct 19th 2-5pm at High Desert Yoga. P1060399_3What could be a better way to spend an afternoon than with nourishing, grounding, playful, delicious assisted poses? Practicing with a partner is one of the most effective ways to experience the aim and meaning of yoga – union – union of mind and body, of self and others, and with the eternal Self that resides in each of us.

In this playful workshop, partners will learn to assist each other in going more deeply into a variety of asana, including standing postures, forward folds, backbends, and twists. The practice will be at turns invigorating, playful, and restorative. Find a partner at the workshop or bring your friend, lover, or yoga buddy. Expect to challenge your limits, connect with your inner self, and connect with the people around you as we continue together on the path to unity.

A partner’s touch can provide strength, awaken insight, invite release, or simply bring a deeper awareness of the present moment – awareness of breath, body, and mind; awareness of habitual patterns, attitudes, and emotions. You and your partner will help each other expand beyond the limits of habit, challenge assumptions, and perhaps move into postures that might otherwise seem inaccessible. Working together, we will cultivate compassionate trust in ourselves and each other. All levels and body types welcome, queer friendly, beginner friendly. Ages 12 to 102!

Price options: Pre-registered: $35 per person, $65 for two. Day of: $40 per person, $75 for two.  Preregister in person at the studio, call 505 232 9642 or at


Check out the flier with all the info here: partner yoga flier 


HDY UNM:CNM flier 2013_2Also, I am teaching a NEW CLASS!! … Starting next week, I will be teaching an ALIGNMENT based VINYASA class at High Desert Yoga 10$, one hour. Rich, deep, muscular, lots of pelvic floor work! Plus a nourishing, full savasana. Thursdays 5:30-6:30pm. AND! North Valley students please note: My 5:30-6:30 Wed Level One class at Dragonfly Yoga will be shifting to be on Mondays. Two great evening classes… hope to see you soon!!

Slowing Down

When we slow down we can focus on alignment not only anatomically but energetically: moving prana in a different  way from our habit patterns. In this comes real freedom and transformation, in the body but also emotionally, psychologically, we experience ourselves and the world differently, more harmoniously. As the goal becomes not performing poses, but rather stability, organization, and intensity of presence and awareness, strength and flexibility are pleasant side effects, while the true depth and potential of yoga become our reality. Meanwhile, the body is safe, and trust, healing, and the development in self-trust begin to unfold.P1060116

Favorite Teachers

In the next month or so two of my most beloved teachers are visiting Albuquerque. In my experience it is a rare and profound opportunity to study with truly great teachers, and even if the Iyengar method isn’t your route into this work, I sense you’d get a lot from any amount with Francois, or Ramanand. It’s crazy they are both coming here within a month of eachother! I love studying with both of these teachers, and have done so whenever I can, in the last several years. I invite you, since it’s a great opportunity. It would be fun to share yoga space with you!

Here’s a link to the High Desert Yoga site. You can get info and sign up there, though Ramanand registration is through Wellspring.

Francios Raoult, originally from France, has a ruthless genius way of accessing depth, and has a great sense of humor… he is doing a special session for teachers this Friday afternoon, then Pranayama (lots of asana, too, etc) intensive all weekend.

Ramanand Patel< originally from India, studied from boyhood with BKS Iyengar; he is in his 70s now, a retired engineer. Brilliant.

Both of these teachers are advanced, challenging, profound, wonderful to study with…

I’ve had some of my most deep, life altering yogic experiences with these two. I’m so excited for more… maybe see you there!

High Desert Yoga | Workshops and Class Series

Workshops and Class Series

Urdva Hastasana Saves the Day

Delightful, today, to feel the upward rise, like the reach of a candle flame, so deep in my center. I was practicing Urdva Hastasana, or “Upward arms pose.” Tadasana, with arms raised high, heads of the humerus (upper arm bones), outer heads of the femurs, or greater trochanters (top of the thigh bones) and center heels all stacked tall in a line atop the earth’s center of gravity.

The simultaneous rising up of my perineum, the inner heads of the humerus, and the base of my skull created this profound feeling of inner body length – an integrated from of Uddiyana. In this pose, the arms lifted feeds the extension bias to the spine, and this often challenges the length of the kidney area, around the junction of T12, and L1, where the thoracic spine meets the lumber spine. The perineum, that apex of strength at the center of the pelvic floor, which gathers in the core of the figure 8 shaped bands of muscles around the front and back openings, made of connective tissue to which the bands of muscle anchor, can lift here to create the internal physiological and energetic support to lengthen the kidney area. As the kidney area lengthens, the lowest lumbar vertebra actually draw in deeper, while T1, at the base of the neck, also releases in, freeing the neck to lengthen as the inner armpits deepen into the back body.

(Image taken from this article on The Female Perineum.)

This is just one example of how pelvic floor strength can support the total integrity and alignment in an asana. However the real gift of this experience of alignment was the profound feeling of freedom and pleasure in the body… and through this pleasure, a new reference created for what is possible.

The body will choose comfort, even when comfort simply means familiar and is degenerative. As I practice, I give my body a chance to experience new reference points for what is comfortable, for what is “home.” This experience of the triplicity lifting length in Urvda Hastasana while my heels anchored deep gave me a renewed sense of where my body can live. And as an encouraging sidenote, this release of the inner body through organization and pelvic floor power has given relief from pain. Today I was moving slow, due to being on the first day of my period, and feeling crampy and low energy. By unloading the visceral body though this work, however, my belly now feels spacious and relaxed; the cramping sensation have disappeared, miraculously.

And here is Mr. BKA Iyengar, in hanumanasana.... The torso doing the same work as in Urva Hastasana. Note the deeply grounded humerous and exquisite kidney length!  I am willing to bet his perineum is working enthusiastically, to support this much organization.
And here is Mr. BKS Iyengar, in hanumanasana…. his torso is doing the same pose as in Urva Hastasana, (which is why I using this image here to discuss the actions in the article. Apparently Iyengar’s Urdva Hastasana isn’t exotic enough to merit pictures online yet! And instead of scanning one in from Light On Yoga I am using this one to illustrate the similar work. Note, amazingly, how even with the legs in Hanumanasana the powerful Tadasana spine!) Also, see the deeply grounded humerous and exquisite kidney length. I am willing to bet his perineum is working enthusiastically, to support this much organization.

A great article! Check it out…


The first time I walked into a yoga studio I was terrified. I had just had three panic attacks in 2 days and spent my lunch break at work that day crying in the bathroom. My anxiety had become so bad I confessed to my mom what was going on and she suggested I go to a yoga class. I can honestly say (like many people who practice yoga) that that class changed my life. That night, for the first time in months, I fell asleep within minutes and slept through the whole night. When I woke up I felt like more of my body was sunk into the mattress than usual. I was letting go and relaxing in a way I wasn’t at all used to but I desperately needed.

Since then I’ve practiced yoga fairly regularly for almost 6 years. I’m now a yoga teacher and my friends…

View original post 1,276 more words

Yoga for Self Love…?

P1020670This weekend’s workshop, Self Love Through Yoga, may seem like a nice thought… but what will this look like in terms of practice, and experience?

When we perceive our thoughts, feelings and actions to be “good,” it’s easy to “love” ourselves, or at least feel capable of receiving  love, appreciation, acceptance, or attention. These feelings build up a healthy form of ego, an ability to appreciate oneself independently of any comparison of competition with an external frame of reference. (In a cosmic sense, the ego, that perspective of separation of the self from all that is “other,” can be a hinderance to our realization of wholeness; however for the purposes of this discussion, in the context of our human existence, having a healthy sense of self, so that we can be capable and responsible, keeps us balanced and available to connect outside ourselves, rather than swinging into the extremes of self obsession, either by placing ourselves way below or way above other people.)

However, when we only feel deserving of love when we judge ourselves as “good,” then anytime we feel our “goodness” is challenged either by others, or our own self, this conditional form of self love diminishes. Because the human mind often generates discontentment, and tends to focus on what needs work, what is “wrong”… we can get stuck in ruts where on some deep, hidden level, we believe we don’t deserve love and appreciation unless we are “good,” perfect… and this self criticism loop tends to bind our attention to ourselves, so we have less attention for the people we love, our projects, our work, our dreams.

When we can learn to appreciate ourselves, even when we are face to face with a challenge: a mistake we have made, an unpleasant emotion, a situation that points to our lack of intelligence, sensitivity, or skill, THEN, we are building our ability to love ourselves. When we are challenged is often when we most need love. This moment of compassion can create the shift we need (often by diminishing our resistance to experiencing what is there) and the external world shifts too: we discover a step we can take to make things right, have insight towards a solution, or have some more space emotionally to breathe through what is there.

In our yoga practice, we can change the nervous system’s patterns in terms of  how we react internally to challenge. If a pose is physically, emotionally, or psychologically challenging, we can either go into self criticism, or pause, breathe, back up, and observe, working through the re-patterning with awareness, creating a new way, breath by breath. This process is more accessible when we are not rushed, and if we feel safe to be in our process. This is one reason why the goal of organization, rather than range of motion, in our asana practice serves us greatly.

Asana can affect our ability to sense, release resistance to, and even appreciate, where we are at in our journey. Through practice over time, and even in just one session of asana practice, we can gain a palpable sense of how much more stable and grounded we feel through organizing the bones -the inner scaffolding- so that the soft tissues can release, the organs can cleanse though increased circulation, the breath becomes more available, creating a sense of lightness, and wellbeing, etc. By aligning our physical form, the way prana moves through us is altered, allowing us to shift out of old patterns and into more neutral perspectives.  These practices also affect our mind’s dialog of self assessment partly by interrupting the inner critic, and also by quieting the nervous system and releasing tension patterns associated with emotional stress and feelings of failure, anxiety, or regret.

In my workshop this Saturday, I am excited to explore with students, first creating a safe internal space. Restorative forward bends, warmth, darkness, and an embryonic begining will establish a home base in the nervous system. From there we will gradually branch out into stability work, to support us in lengthening versions of backbends, which not only have an energizing, joyful affect, but also can be a bit scary and confrontational, so that in a slow and safe manner we can explore loving ourselves through the challenge of opening.


Another way to look at this sense of appreciation is through the niyama santosha, contentment. Through growing and changing, moving through feelings, challenges, highs, and lows, this healthy form of self love helps us have compassion for ourselves as we change and grow, and therefore compassion for others. Our relationships with others echo the ways we relate to ourselves. As we cultivate and strengthen our ability to accept and love ourselves through the ups and downs, we can more fully love and give attention to our lovers, partners, family, and community.

Yoga as Survival

Our human life expects so much of us. All these tender layers of self, moving through a vast, complex world. And especially now, when we have had little time to evolve to cope with the pace, technological stimulation, societal structures, expectations, and chemical environment of our modern world; when so much has changed in the last 100 years, and yet we are born into life with the same skill set as centuries prior…. how do flourish, how do we survive?

One of our main survival techniques as humans (soft, fleshy, humans…) is our ability to adapt. We can shift and change to be able to function when confronted by a plethora of different challenges. Adaptability has its problems, of course, when we give up our center to allow something else to affect our energy, our experience.  Yet claiming this ability to shift and bend to meet the challenges of our world is a dynamic skill.

The practice of yoga gives us the opportunity to adapt in ways so that we do not have to lose our essential aspects of humaness. Our tenderness,  our subtle intelligence, our ability to heal and integrate, and to really love… these are crucial aspects of our ability to be fully awake and alive. The asana we practice, which re-calibrates the nervous system, cleanses and revitalizes the organs and blood, quiets the sympathetic response and habituated tension patterns, stabilizes the structure of our bodies and matrix of our minds… this practice truly allows us to relate and thrive in this wild, contemporary world. We can be engaged in our lives, fully, and through our practice replenish our inner reservoirs again and again. Staying connected to our center, our place of power, through the many changes and challenges we face.

Of course, we stray, we have moments and even chunks of time when the storms are passing through us, the screen time and caffeine and competition takes its toll, our emotions run amuck, our vrritis become tsunamis of fluctuation… and then we come back. We re-establish what the boundaries are, the containers, for ourselves in this world. We fine tune our alignment, and reprogram the pathways of prana. We take time to feel what is really there. And through the practice of yoga, breath by breath, day by day, we rekindle that balance of being engaged in the world, and centered within ourselves. P1020429